Playing it cool when dating dating for women who

04 Mar

Throughout most of my 20s (for 8 and a half years), I was in (what I now have come to acknowledge as) an unhealthy, co-dependent relationship with a man-child artistic type.

This new dude is very independent, has travelled the world, has strong family values, loves his job, and is equal parts nerd and jock. His longest relationship was three months.) While New Dude and I do have good conversations and a similar sense of humor, we do not share the same depth of intellectual connection as did my ex and I — this intellectual connection was one of the major initial factors in us hooking up.

As if liking someone is some big, repulsive secret you have to keep to yourself at all costs. Playing it cool is basically why we are the mumblecore generation, why our romantic exchanges consist of “hey what are you up 2” on GChat.

That having been said, I do understand that it’s hard to be the only one playing it cool in a world where people’s romantic impulses tend to be a little..tempered.

But eye contact and an acknowledging smile can go a long way into making you seem cool/friendly/not psychotic.

Related: I Tried it: Eye Contact and a Smile Meeting someone at a party and then instantly friending them on Facebook, and following them on Twitter, Tumblr and Instagram, is not what we in the dating sphere would call “playing it cool.” However: if they follow or friend you, follow/friend them back! Not friending them — or making them wait a long time until you do — is silly.

Play It Cool One of the most damaging dating myths is that playing it cool is the best way to attract love.

In my (many) years of dating, each of these three myths nailed me over and over again, sending me on constant forays into the land of “always trying, never good enough.” I’ve seen them do the same for many of my clients and friends.

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But that kind of confidence comes from our flaws and humanity.

Jessica wants to do this relationship the right way-- unlike the miserable dating experiences she's had in the past.

She's talking about the wonderful guy she started dating a few weeks ago.

About a month later, we had a vague relationship talk (he asked something along the lines of whether I considered him my boyfriend) and thereafter considered ourselves exclusive.

He is not the type of dude I usually go for, and this is a refreshing change.